Monday, March 30, 2009

Woah, I passed my GP essay w only SVs and one undeveloped OV written. My heart was really in my mouth. I think the teacher's secretly in love w me or what ah. hahahaha. I hope I pass paper 2 as well so at least I pass my overall GP to compensate for my lousy h2 papers.

To think of it, there's only 2 terms left to turn all my lousy grades into straight As or at least, something decent, so I can go up to the stage and shake Ms Lai's hand next year.

You know, sometimes, I feel so pressurized w people's expectations of me. When you don't do well, people will gossip behind your back, questioning why, saying this and that that is totally untrue. When you do well, they'll congratulate you accompanied w a little tinge of jealousy. This is the reality, the ugly side. It's just too competitive, so much so I get really flared up... and now, I'm feeling plain apathetic. The v much screwed-up system has moulded people in such a way that it becomes irreversible. Little did we know of it until we experience this living hell by ourselves. I guess that's the main reason for my gradual change in attitude... It's uncontrollable and comes so naturally.

I'm not saying that we're all like that. Of course, there are still some really nice souls around who's really happy for your success and also be there when you fail. I really appreciate the v few of you who's standing by me and loving me all along. I love you all, really, baby, teammates, lydia, tong, marissa, ethel, paul, jiajian ..... You guys are the reason I can garner my strength to overcome the odds. Thank you, a million times.

and sometimes, I guess it's just not nice to be "over-enthusiastic", echoing what the authority says, and think that it should be done your way because it's for everybody's good. It's way too bossy my dear.

Becks' feeling indifferent;
signing out, xoxo.


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