Best friends or acquantainces? I guess, it's the latter.

I used to enjoy schooling, w all the big hoohas occuring and the fun & laughter despite how boring certain tutors can get. But, I don't feel the same way now. The feeling I get in college almost everyday constantly puts me to question myself if I really have a true friend. Yes, I might know a lot of people and a lot of people would recognise me as Phobos secretary or MSG no.25 but I would only consider them as classmates/schoolmates. The social circle is widening, but not at all enhancing. It doesn't mean that you read my blog/have heard things about me/have talked to me and therefore you KNOW me. There's this drastic change in my life, probably because I was too used to friends buying breakfast and putting it on my table for me every morning, waiting for one another to go for recess together, going to the toilets together eventhough we don't need to, waiting for one another to go home together, waiting for one another to go for lectures together or leave the hall together, hangout during weekends or just a little while after school. There's no leaving of anyone one out and we really stick together like glue. These little things might be insignificant but it does reflect how strong friendships may develop.

But now, I don't see this v much. Probably I'm infering too much. Probably it's my fault to stay in Yishun. Probably i've neglected my friends because of my boyfriend. I don't know when or what went wrong but it's really getting a little too superficial. Can anyone enlighten me? I'm losing the drive that is keeping me propelling all this while and I'm going to school everyday like a living-dead eversince my true best-friend left college for good. Now, I don't even know who to really trust, who to pour my sorrows to, who to depend on when I fall back. I guess time has taken its toll on our friendships.

and, I don't know who my true friends are.

becks' feeling agonised;
signing out, xoxo.